Broken strings

Broken by =ArmyBrat1521 on deviantART

"Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me, now I can't feel anything"

Some things are better left unsaid, some questions are best when remain unanswered.

... You're not in any way helping.
You should've known better.
You could've done something far more different.

Can I have my antidote back?

Trying not to be a hardball.

Because at some point, I realized that you are right. That I shouldn't really be a hard ball. Although, a huge part of me still wants to remain this way. But, as I've told you, a part of me is missing something.

I hope I'd be able to remove the slacker within me. I need to work, work, work. X_X

Love lifts us up where we belong by icajec featuring Jimmy Choo sandals

A change & a comeback

GAH! It's 3AM and I need to wake up at 6AM, so I can accompany my sister's early morning shopping spree.

Since I'm trying to do a comeback. Here's something for a change. I don't think I care much about fashion now as much as I did almost 3 years ago. Or maybe I'm still the same girl who doesn't really care much about the labels.

You're annoyingly eating up the spaces left in my brain. I thought I got rid of you already.

Thinking of you all afternoon. by icajec featuring Steven Alan blouses

state the obvious

& the truth is... I LOVE. :)

happy being happy

"There I was an empty piece of a shell
Just minding my own world
Without even knowing
What love and life were all about

Then you came, you brought me out of the shell
You gave the world to me
And before I knew it
There I was so in love with you

You gave me a reason for my being
And I love what I'm feeling
You gave me a meaning to my life
Yes, I'm gone beyond existing
And it all begun, when I met you."

- APO Hiking Society, When I Met You

Isn't this so mushy? :) There are just things that when you think about it, it feels great already. What more if it happens, right?

un triste

A sad one for that matter.

Random stuffs.

Movies.

10 Things I Hate About You

Music.

Dashboard Confessionals - As Lovers Go
Letters to Cleo - I Want You to Want Me
Lit - Completely Miserable
Adam Sandler - Grow Old With You

Questions.

Why?

Phrase.

Close enough is realizing that you are falling in love, but still you won't do anything about it. Primarily because there are too much to risk, and you don't want to take that risk cos neither are sure about where things will end up. Although you still want to keep whatever things that you have right now even if it's all messed up and crazy, cos it feels great. There's just no string attached, sometimes it's better that way. Eventually you'll hate the term commitment for what it does - it just either take everything away, or leave you with a happy ending. Good if it's the latter, and if it's not, expect the worst.

it's gonna happen, I'm sure

Not a 100% sure, but it's gonna happen. Things WILL change, in a good way or in a bad way, I don't know. All I know is that there COULD be major changes. I don't know who screwed up, I don't know how its gonna happen. It's just gonna be something spontaneous, this is worse than thinking about my preliminary exams.

I hate frowning, but this time I think it's becoming a normal thing for me. Can life be any worse than this? Let's just hope that it wouldn't. Cos if I couldn't take this anymore - that its causing me to rant & frown ALOT - what more if it's worse than this?

CAM WAR

Definitely one of my best days in school. :)

Me, Jeic & Berna had a CAM WAR. HAHAHA We were basically using 3 cam phones (Moto L6 & v3i, & O2 XDA II Mini) plus a digi cam (Canon PShot a400). We took ALOT of pics, from Frio back to the guidance office. Sneak peek: it's about 9mb of photos, & not all were posted. We had kami pics, brokeback pics, stolen shots & group pics. HAHAHA It was so fun. ;)

Do it again, do it again. :D

I loves it! ;)

PS.

Me & Berna continued the cam war after school, at this dinner birthday party of one of our relatives. We were joined by our 2 aunts. Although this time, there were 2 phones & 2 digi cams. & less pics. HAHA Still.. It reached 5mb.

Tiring day, but it was worth it. Cos I had lots of fun. :D

It can't be

But if you are, then I'll say "sure". :D

But if you're not, then better. :)

"All I want is somebody who cares." :)

Everything...

I don't know what's going on, why everything is going this way & not that way. Some things suck, while some don't. It's really a bitch... I mean, why can't everything just be good? Have I had enough of my good times? Did I not cherish those moments? If this is a part of growing up, then let's all be immature & be happy. I miss old times, when everything seemed so perfect.

Again, I found something meaningful but how come other things that matter doesn't seem to go well? Do good things really go with something bad? It just sucks :(

I'm happy now, but then some things make me sad too. A lot of things actually. & it's not ordinary sadness, it's close to an extreme cos somethings are at risk & those things matter.

Recently, when I'm lonely... there's just no one to run to. Someone who I can talk to about anything and everything without feeling a little weird. I miss having someone to wake up right in the middle of the night, & just rant to. & eventually that person could make me laugh, smile or something. I miss having someone close. :(

This sucks big time..

Change, I know it's something constant but I don't think I have it right now. Everything seems to be like steadily sad or screwed up. I miss change, that is if change's going to do me better.

Darn. I sound shitty like a 5 year old begging for a bar of chocolate. Although, this is different. I'm a 17 year old neurotic, craving for attention & love.

Will you brighten up my day?

With just one simple phrase, you did. Although... I still wanna know if its true or not, but it doesn't really matter anymore. Cos I know you do. There's just no reason why you would state that knowing that other people listen, if it doesn't mean anything.

& I guess that it's alright that the first person I expected to respond didn't, cos one of the best friends that I got did. Labelling you as one of the best people that I've meet so far, is kind off like a great deal. Choosing you as my friend took some time, & to actually give someone time to know that person means that you already are important.

To you who cheered me up, THANKS! I don't care if it's true or not, cos I know - IT IS. :)

WHAT A DAY!?

I think I only got 1 or 2 shots for Korfball. But Patrick & Adrian were awesome. ;)

I got dressed up in Fe's bathroom, which was so dark & scary cos it's a hospital. DAMNIT. I really hope she gets well soon though, she looks AWFUL. :(

I got to my Socio class pretty late. I wasn't marked absent though, but I left all my stuffs in the guidance - fortunately the lesson for the day's going to be uploaded.

& again, I left my waiver for tomorrow's play at home. So I had to go to the Institute of Religion during Chem Lec class to get myself a waiver or else they "wouldn't" let me in the cinema to watch the play tomorrow.

There were a couple of times when I got totally hungry & there was no one to eat with. So it sucked so bad. Then when I had someone to eat with, I was already too tired to eat.

English class was really a bum. My prof is SOOO gay, & I mean that literally.

All the people I've texted before Chem Lab class starts didn't reply.

Chem Lab SUCKS big time. I was totally hungry when I got in, but too tired to even eat & bummed cos I had no one to go with. The electric fan that I use/own is broken. When I got out to sit beside the plants, the cement was effing HOT - turned out alright cos it was kinda windy outside.

When I attended Chem Lab class, I didn't expect that we'd be doing an experiment. But we did,
& I didn't have a lab gown. So instead, I had Bong & Billy look out for me & hung out with Topher around the vicinity.

My prof marked me absent on Chem Lab class, which I eventually approached him so he would erase it. Well, he did. Good, or else. HAHAHA Or else, he'll totally bitch me out.

I feel completely obese. :( but I'm hungry. & I'm still trying to get a hold of my appetite.

My phone's bluetooth icon's not appearing on the today screen.

I'm still LSS: No Doubt - Underneath It All.

& lastly, the first person I totally miss being buddies with is hooked. I don't wanna mess up with him, but I kinda miss the guy. & I won't do anything about it.

Why can't I just go out & take pictures of anything & everything beautiful? Why can't I just call someone & feel free to tell him/her everything that seems so interesting? I wanna be who I wanna be. I miss being out, just hanging out... talking to the few people who still want me to be there & not to someone who would question my existence.

Typhoon Glenda

This typhoon's leaving alot of families homeless. Well, I'm just assuming since I haven't been watching the news lately. If this is the case, we shouldn't really be rejoicing.

I'm trying to keep myself away from plates, spoons or forks.. Or anything sweet for that matter. I've been gaining weight since these because-there's-a-typhoon-so-there's-no-classes days.

I'm still in need of a buddy. It's so weird that I couldn't easily open up to someone new anymore. So I guess I can't really go steady cos it's screwing up my life. HAHA But I guess it still depends. I should catch up with more people, like my old buddy? Who appparently, doesn't know me that much anymore.

now I KNOW

...how I choose the people I get close with, stick with and tell everything. It seems like I choose people who have big hearts, who I know will be there when I need him or her, who'll know when I'm not in a good mood, who keeps me pampered & of course, those who are willing to be my buddies & love me back.

I saw my friends profile, & saw one of his buddy's profile as well. & I've learned that he's one of those rare people who have big hearts - those who doesn't choose their friends based on their physique. It's just so COOL. HAHAHA I find it sweet. (:

School's really stressing me out lately, it kinda sucks. But again, it isn't bad as it used to be. :)

I finally got my Korfball uniform. The jersey looked kinda nice, but then the skort - skirt & short - kinda sucked. So I guess I'm still wearing jogging pants going to school, & changing right before I go to PE class.

....Prelims' coming up. I don't know if I'm excited or something. HAHA I'm so messed up.

I either have to write about something that I don't know what, or photoshop something. Really, I am messed up.

I wanna watch 'Hitch'. There's just A LOT to learn.

to sleep or not to sleep, THAT is the question

Sleeping late in the afternoon, & waking up in the middle of the night SUCKS SO BAD. It's been bringing me sleepless nights. Like yesterday, I slept like 430 in the morning & woke up around 530. That's not so decent. Well, yea, now I complain about it after doing it. My eyes turned out so poofy & I can barely move a muscle.

& this afternoon, I slept again & woke up about 8 in the evening. Although right now, my system's dictating me to catch up with my sleep. I really want to, but then I can't leave my laptop charging overnight - it'll screw up the battery.

O yea, & I've not eating so much - starving myself, & filling myself up with biscuits. I feel totally fat & broke. HAHA

Tomorrow's Tomasino Walk, I really wish that they'd suspend the classes from 3 onwards. It sucks. This isn't my week, I'm so not in the mood to attend any of my classes - but I still did. I'm so stressed, tired.... What else? It just sucks.

I miss travelling. On the road or by plane, it doesn't matter. I just wanna see something new again, & capture it with my lens.

USER FRIENDLY

You are.

35

1. Cigarette: pan de sal HAHAHA
2. Sex: can lead to something.
3. Relationship: it can be good or bad.
4. Your Last Out of town: :)
5. Power rangers: I used to watch this when I was a kid.
6. Marijuana: brownies.
7. Crack: is a 5 letter word.
8. Food: chocolate cake from Mezze :)
9. Love: can also cause sadness.
10. War: Troy.
11. Car: Mitsu Eclipse <3
12. Gas Prices: are killing me
13. Halloween: Trick or Treat. ;)
14. Bon Jovi: Oh, Bon, I remember when we were hanging out way way back.. HAHAHA
15. Religion: I believe I'm agnostic
16. MySpace: if there's a space in-between those two words could me a lot more.
17. Worst fear: not having cash. HAHAHA
18. Marriage: maybe, maybe not.
19. Fashion: I just remembered, I have to do some shopping.
20. Brunettes: lovely.
21: Redheads: hm...
22: Work: second thing to allowance, in terms of getting money.
23: Past time: browsing..
24: Football: Italy.
25: One night stands: not my thing.
26: Pet Peeve: when people are expected to reply, & doesn't
27. Pixie Stix: are the cheapest ever.
28. Vanilla Ice Cream: vanilla smlls nice.
29: Porta Potties: so unhygienic.
30: High school: musical, one of the best movies I've seen. 4c rocks (:
31: Pajamas: Silk.
32. Wood: stock.
33. Surfers: yummy. (:
34. Pictures: live it, love it - Hong Kong.
35. First Love: puppy love.

Mezze, Greenbelt

I touched my nose pimple, so now it's a scar. :(

We - sister & husband & my nephew - attended a late dinner birthday party in Mezze. The food was really great. It didn't look great because everything seemed so dry, but it was AWESOME. I even wanted to go for a second round, but I was too shy to.

My nephew, mind you he's 2.5 years old, loves the party scene. The sounds, the people - Oh well, you really gotta love it. ;)

I'm still thinking of what to do for my birthday. I'm kinda... SO excited.

NO SCHOOL

Somehow it sucked, but it doesn't really. It sucked cos that'll only mean that on Friday, we'll be having 2 quizzes - both Chemistry. But somehow it'll be easier to study cos it will, more or less, cover the same topic. Plus, it sucked cos I woke up around 5, and by 8am, I'm done preparing myself. But its good that there's no school today, I didn't go to school anymore cos my class starts at 1 & classes were suspended by 11. Pretty tiring day though.

Oh well... Better enjoy the day. It's a pretty lovely day. The weather's GREAT - cold and comfy. But it's making me fat, all I have done is eat and sleep.

I think I'm a jinx cos whenever I study, the quiz gets cancelled. But still, I'm gonna study. I need to pass. ;)

Study, study, study... I'm so sleepy. HAHA

..I need a buddy.

socio is stressing me

Why would she care about the suicide statistics in the Philippines? It's just so hard to find, even on the net. Or I'm just not using the proper keywords for it. Oh well, whatever it is, I'm just so tired - stressed out today.